HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: QUIT

I remember when I had my first boyfriend in high school.  Oh man. was I 'in love'!  I went to his basketball and football games when I could.  We'd talk on the phone because our houses were on two different sides of the city and neither one of us drove.  He bought me candy bars and cheese steak subs and told me that he 'loved me'... and I 'loved' him too!  We would go on hot dates: meeting up at high school parties to see each other!  Man, young love is awesome!  No 'real' clue to what loving relationships could 'really' be, but it is fun while it lasts... the way YOU know it to be.  

All was fine for months... and then, it happened.  I guess my calls were too much and he wanted to explore his options.  One call, a very awkward call, included the words, "I QUIT YOU!".  He said it over the phone, in my ear... not over Twitter, Facebook, or text... it was durn near, face-to-face! (Kinda... not really).  I was shocked and hurt!  I asked, "Why?" and he said, "I just have to."  Well, what was I going to say to that?!?!  Nothing, because 'he just had to'.  After a few tears and wondering, "Why?", it was over.  It didn't resurface; it was a done deal.

Most motivational speakers will say, "Don't Quit!" or "Don't Give Up!"  True and I have said it myself, but, in this blog, I say, "QUIT"!!  That's right, "GIVE UP!"  

To your lack of motivation, say, "I QUIT YOU!"
To giving up on your dreams, say, "I QUIT YOU!"
To the negativity that you face, say, "I GIVE UP!"
To the naysayers, say, "I WANT NO PARTS OF YOU!"
To the hurt, guilt, shame, despair, depression, I want you to SCREAM: "I...QUIT... YOU!"

AND MEAN IT because you just have to!!

That's it.  *drops the mic; exits stage left*

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SEXY LEADERSHIP

SEXY LEADERSHIP ^TM 

 

I have always been the type of student and professor who wants to truly understand what I am learning and teaching.  I can remember being a student and looking around the room for some of my classes, seeing other students respond, “Yes”, when the professor asked, “Do you understand?”  The non-verbal responses surely didn’t match the verbal ones!  Some folks didn’t have a clue.  Sometimes, if I thought that I understood, I would say, “Yes, so is it like….” and would give an example the way I understood it.  If it were right or wrong, the professor would confirm, but it gave the other utterly confused students a different way of thinking about what they had learned.

As a professor, speaker, trainer and coach, that is my game plan: make it simple… from the beginning!!  The foundational information can be quite easy to understand.  As I continue to delve into leadership concepts and share them with everyone, I desire to do the same; however, instead of making it simple, I desire to make it sexy as well!!  So you ask, “How in the world is leadership 'sexy'?”  It’s, again, simple- I desire to make leadership concepts more ATTRACTIVE!  That’s pretty much it!

If you are interested in becoming a sexy leader or making your current leadership skills more 'attractive', learn what “Leadership is like…” by following my accounts:

Twitter: Dr. Jai Armstrong @jai0813  and LiHK Consulting, LLC @LiHKLeaders

Facebook: www.facebook.com/lihkleaders

LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/janicearmstrong

Keeping it Simple, Street, and Sexy for your Success!!

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: REFRESH

These past couple of days have wreaked havoc on my brain!!  I have been thinking about my next steps and made decisions based on my gut that I truly feel has been best for me.  By brain was going through a mental spiral, causing for later nights, awakened by stress and worry.  I reached out for a listening ear and a kind word and realized, that is NOT what I needed to hear.  "Tell me like it is..." and one of my best friends did!  That best friend's name, for me, is "Mommy".  Mommy simply stated, "Um, you're doing too much!"  My immediate response was, "No, I am not!"  *pause*  "I have so much to do and I just need to find ways to get it done!"  She replied, "Ok, so you said, "you are not doing 'too' much" and then you tell me that "you have so much to do".  Again, *pause*.  A dead silence as an admission that I was called out!  Then a friend of mine confirmed that, yes, I am trying to do too much.  So essentially, I had to admit, that I was doing too much!

For me, I am a pretty, even-tempered person, until I get stressed out and my words and tone are that of pure frustration.  Others recognize it, but I brush it off, which has been my challenge.  In my mind, after all that I tend to juggle at one time, there is no such thing as 'too much'; in my world, "it is what it is" and "you do what you gotta do"!  I preach a good word to those who want to hear it, but sometimes, I am not the 'doer' of my own advice.  

So what do I do when things get like this?  Like a computer that has stalled on a page, I hit my own 'refresh' button.  I start again.  When you hit the refresh button, you don't necessarily go ALL the way back to the first log on page to access EVERYTHING again, you simply see the page just before, checking that particular area with better focus.  No, I don't desire to start ALL over again with what I have accomplished thus far; there is no need, but what I have learned is to push the refresh button to determine what has caused my uncertainty, change in pursuit, or stress and make a change.  My page still remains but the content has changed.

Don't be afraid to start again; you don't always need a dramatic 'fresh start', but refreshment is just as satisfying.  Want to be your best?  REFRESH!

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HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: INSPIRE

I often sit at my computer, trying to figure out what my next move is.  I try to think about the 'next best thing' that will propel my vision forward, bringing it closer to a full-time reality.  I watch money fly from my pockets as I invest in what, I feel, will help me take this 'thing' to the next level.  "Trainer-Speaker-Coach" is now a part of who I am and what I do, but I want it to be truly WHAT I DO!  I am often left to make decisions of what is truly important.  No matter what, my family comes first!  I have been presented with opportunities that, in the grand scheme of things, could have put me further than where I am, but I rejected them because, again, for me, family comes first!  I figure, if it is meant to be, it will come around again.  Sometimes I am presented with really hard decisions that actually suck the life out of me.  I am presented with situations that truly take my energy, but I will fight to get through it because, essentially the work is what I desire to do, the vision is moving forward and the outcome, especially that of monetary value and return, can be brought back into my household to be recycled into my craft and to support my first love... my family!  It all comes full-circle at some point; however, with many personal sacrifices in between.

So why do I say all of this?  After I put maximum energy in preparing for a training, it can be really exhausting.  There is A LOT of 'behind-the-scenes' work that goes into preparing for a few or a lot of hours of training (and into my teaching as well).  I think about a recent training I had where I was preparing the training packets and my little man came around into the dining room, wanting to play with the colorful items I had on the table in front of him.  My husband calls him back so that I could continue to work, but little man wanted to be in Mommy's presence.  So I folded up a piece of construction paper that I was putting in the folder into a diamond shape.  My little 2 year old looked at it and said, very excited, "Yell-whoa KITE, Mommy!!" and he proceeded to 'fly' his yellow kite around the table where I was working.  The excitement in his eyes and the smile on his face made me, again, think about what was truly important as I pursue this vision- I was preparing to inspire!  The seconds I took to make that 'kite' got him motivated!  If I could do that in SECONDS, imagine what these hours of preparation can do for a student or client or participant in MINUTES TO HOURS!!  

Now, make your decisions wisely, according to your health, but also keep in mind that sometimes we have to put our physical situations aside for the emotional outcomes of the masses! When I hear people say that my training or talk was inspirational and/or something that I stated motivated them, I get excited because I can clearly see their excitement!  It's a win-win situation!!  Remember: the bottom line to making an impact on people is to ensure that you inspire and motivate them.  The bigger picture is that a positive voice can change the world!!  Prepare and seek to INSPIRE!

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HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: FORGIVENESS

Did someone do you wrong and you haven't forgiven them?  Have YOU done something to someone and haven't forgiven yourself? Have you stopped pursuing something you desired to do and you haven't forgiven yourself?  Well, don't you think it is time to do so? Whether the situation occurred recently or long ago, the process of forgiveness may take time, but you have to FIRST decide that you want to forgive.  It takes more energy to hold on to that toxic past; re-energize and detox yourself of that situation!  Some say, "I will forgive, but I won't forget!"  Well, you are still harboring the negativity that is associated with the circumstance, and frankly, that is a way for you to validate your emotions.  FYI: It's not solving the issue.

Forgiving others can take time, but forgiving yourself can happen instantaneously!  As you are doing that, make forgiving the other person a part of the process and forgiving yourself for not forgiving them is necessary too (Did you get that?!?!)!  Anyway, you'll be and feel better for it.  

I remember I had a cool friendship with a person and it fell apart because I felt betrayed by something that occurred and I felt that the person did me wrong.  We didn't talk for years, not on purpose, just based on circumstances of growing in different directions. One day, I got a facebook message, "Hey Janice, how are you?"  Of course my heart raced; I was like, "Really, dude?", while raising an eyebrown.  Then I immediately thought about the feeling I was having, instead of the circumstance that was presented.  So I said, "Hey, wassup?  How are you?"  We proceeded to chat and he shared some things with me that he had encountered over the years and the blessings that he had received from the Lord in reference to life, love and happiness.  The conversation ended in his apology to me and I couldn't be mad because we both made dumb mistakes in our younger years.  The situation seemed relatively minute afterwhile and I felt that I had to apologize because of the initial resentment I felt when I received that message.  The entire situation had to be forgiven.  We are really cool again and I am proud of his progress as a person!  :-)


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