TWO more dress sizes to go to meet my goal; it has been the most difficult part of this journey... the last 15-20 pounds!!! Since having Jaida in September, I have lost a total of 56 pounds, losing 32 of them since November, when I returned to work. Yes, feel free to do the math and "Guess the September start weight". My motivation... my health. Having high blood pressure with BOTH children while pregnant and it lingering for quite some time AFTER I had Jaida was a wake up call. Dizzy spells, spots in my eyes, exhaustion, heart palpitations... it all raised a red flag that, "HEY CHICK, YOU NEED TO GET IT TOGETHER!"
When I tell you that I struggle/d with food, I am not playing. I love to eat, but I have the metabolism of a snail (I am working on it). I am an emotional eater too, so if I am stressed, it's all about be satisfied at the moment, not thinking of consequences. It is work in progress, indeed. Why am I telling you all of this 'foo foo'? I feel like I can't talk about self-development unless I am proving to you that 1) it works, 2) it's a challenge, but it works, and 3) it involves extreme dedication to lifestyle change, but it works! No pills, no fad diets, just eating the right foods and, unfortunately, exercising. Do I fall off the bandwagon? Yup, MANY TIMES; but in order to truly strive to be who I want to be, I have to keep going.
As a self-development and leadership coach, I have to be an example for others. I need to live by what I speak and be honest about the results! I have also used the activities in my book, "From the Street to the Executive Suite: Remixing Street Smarts and Life Lessons into Leadership Success"* as my own guide! So no matter what your goal is, if you feel challenged, you are allowed to 'soak in your sorrow' for a SHORT time. Get back up, dust off, wipe your eyes, pop your collar and say, "I got this!"
*available at www.lihkleaders.com, amazon.com, lulu.com, barnesandnoble.com, itunes.com (Ibookstore)
Dr. Jai, The Leading Lady, website: LiHK Leaders
Friday, April 12, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Dare to be Different!
Dear LiHK Leaders,
Grrrrr! *teeth grit* I have been STRUGGLING lately with meeting certain 'standards'. I am told that things 'should' be done this way and that way and it beats me up! I don't like 'standards'; they are both objective and subjective, but I see that people desire to adhere to 'standards' when it meets their needs. For example (and this is no one in particular) if my student got a 'C' in my class, according to university standards, they passed and as an adjunct professor, I will tell my student that as well. However, being what some have called, "an overachiever" I can understand when my student may feel he/she has 'failed' themselves because of the grade standard that he/she set for himself/herself. No matter how we view it subjectively, many universities state that the 'C' is passing.
On that same note, I am BUGGED when people say, "Well, this is how it's ALWAYS been done!" My first thought, or even response, is, "...and you are okay with that?!?! 'ALWAYS' is a long time for something to keep happening, especially in the work environment. Where is the innovation? Where is the excitement in doing the 'same old thing'? As I make my transition to doing more speaking engagements, I am asked, "What is my target audience?" and my response, "Anyone who will listen!" Then I get, "Well, people are paying you so they can hear what they want to hear!" Then I say, "Well, all they got when they signed up for the engagement was a summary. They STILL might not hear what they want to hear!" As a matter fact, I don't want people to come to my engagements to 'hear' anything; I want them to 'listen'. It is my duty to make them listen.
When I became an adjunct professor at the college, there was no specific 'target audience'. They were students trying to achieve their goals or better their careers and in order to get 'there', they HAD to take my class! Core requirements suck sometimes, don't they?!?! But they are necessary; therefore, my courses are necessary. My first class included tuition paying students, who ranged from ages 17-54 and I had to engage every person in there. I had to diversify my examples, use different teaching techniques so 1) they would LISTEN and 2) they would GET IT! So in order to be successful, I just dare to be different. I can't think about appeasing every person I speak to or teach. I can't think about who will be turned off by an example. Out of 30 students, one or two might turn their noses up at something I've said, but 28 are laughing their heads off. At some point, those other two will hear something to which they can relate as well. I put something on Facebook earlier this week: "Since standing up and talking for hours is more difficult than sitting and listening for hours, I, initially, speak for my enjoyment. If you like it too, then it's a win-win situation!" I value being content; my goal to be different makes me content. Being different has worked for me more often than not, so I'm sticking to it!! :-)
Signed, the leading lady,
Dr. Jai
Grrrrr! *teeth grit* I have been STRUGGLING lately with meeting certain 'standards'. I am told that things 'should' be done this way and that way and it beats me up! I don't like 'standards'; they are both objective and subjective, but I see that people desire to adhere to 'standards' when it meets their needs. For example (and this is no one in particular) if my student got a 'C' in my class, according to university standards, they passed and as an adjunct professor, I will tell my student that as well. However, being what some have called, "an overachiever" I can understand when my student may feel he/she has 'failed' themselves because of the grade standard that he/she set for himself/herself. No matter how we view it subjectively, many universities state that the 'C' is passing.
On that same note, I am BUGGED when people say, "Well, this is how it's ALWAYS been done!" My first thought, or even response, is, "...and you are okay with that?!?! 'ALWAYS' is a long time for something to keep happening, especially in the work environment. Where is the innovation? Where is the excitement in doing the 'same old thing'? As I make my transition to doing more speaking engagements, I am asked, "What is my target audience?" and my response, "Anyone who will listen!" Then I get, "Well, people are paying you so they can hear what they want to hear!" Then I say, "Well, all they got when they signed up for the engagement was a summary. They STILL might not hear what they want to hear!" As a matter fact, I don't want people to come to my engagements to 'hear' anything; I want them to 'listen'. It is my duty to make them listen.
When I became an adjunct professor at the college, there was no specific 'target audience'. They were students trying to achieve their goals or better their careers and in order to get 'there', they HAD to take my class! Core requirements suck sometimes, don't they?!?! But they are necessary; therefore, my courses are necessary. My first class included tuition paying students, who ranged from ages 17-54 and I had to engage every person in there. I had to diversify my examples, use different teaching techniques so 1) they would LISTEN and 2) they would GET IT! So in order to be successful, I just dare to be different. I can't think about appeasing every person I speak to or teach. I can't think about who will be turned off by an example. Out of 30 students, one or two might turn their noses up at something I've said, but 28 are laughing their heads off. At some point, those other two will hear something to which they can relate as well. I put something on Facebook earlier this week: "Since standing up and talking for hours is more difficult than sitting and listening for hours, I, initially, speak for my enjoyment. If you like it too, then it's a win-win situation!" I value being content; my goal to be different makes me content. Being different has worked for me more often than not, so I'm sticking to it!! :-)
Signed, the leading lady,
Dr. Jai
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Good Leadership - Bad Leadership 4/3/13
Dear LiHK Leaders,
I was sitting today thinking about the cartoon, "Animaniacs" and how I was so 'geeked' that it comes on the Hub Channel. When I am able to get home around 5pm (EST), I definitely try to catch it! In college, I watched it FAITHFULLY after class. Some may find it funny-corny and I love every bit of the funny-corniness! There was a segment called, "Good Idea-Bad Idea" and I laughed so hard at what they came up with.
To see a few of the originals, click here --> Good Idea - Bad Idea Compilation (Youtube)
Then as I sat, I decided to switch that concept up a bit. I figured, aspiring and current leaders need to laugh too, so let's have some "Leader Laughs Using Good Leadership-Bad Leadership".
When I feel the urge, I will throw a few up on this blog so you can get a chuckle or two, or a blank stare out of it; however, you respond is fine with me *shoulder shrug*. It's really for my silly fulfillment, but if you benefit, it's a win-win!
So with that being said, "It's time for another Good Leadership - Bad Leadership"
1) Good leadership: having many followers; Bad leadership: farting while they are behind you!
2) Good virtual leadership: A wonderful conference call involving productivity, great conversation and boosted morale; Bad virtual leadership: Not muting the call when you flushed!
3) Good servant leadership: 'carrying' your followers; Bad servant leadership: tripping.
Hope it serves a purpose for you; still figuring out what purpose it 'really' serves for me other than a mid-day chuckle!!
Thanks for reading; until the next time, love the life you're leading!
Signed, the leading lady,
Dr. Jai
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
HopScotch: Getting to the Next Level
Dear LiHK Leader,
Let's get to the point: are you doing the same old thing to get to your goal? For me, weight loss can be difficult if I continue to do the same thing! We hit plateaus when our bodies get used to doing the same thing. The only way over the plateau is to intensify your workout! This is always my challenge! Losing weight is challenging enough and now I have to make it MORE challenging?!?! Really???? But the challenge is really not the problem- it's the CHANGE! Many of us just don't appreciate change; hence why we have to make the conscious effort to do something different! I burns me to my core that I have to walk/jog faster or lift more or change my routine, but if I want to see results, I have to do it.
Now think about it, you have been trying to get to your goal and making the same moves to get there. And you know what, sometimes, just to get started, you may have some repeated activities, but then you have to move past them, toward the next step. You have come this far, so keep going (that's what I keep telling myself too!). This is for any goal we desire to accomplish! Sometimes it feels like hopscotch... we place the stone on the first number, jump there and jump back. However, you can only succeed at hopscotch and make it to the end when you keep throwing that stone, keep jumping to the next space, return to the beginning, reflect and throw the stone again to get to the next level. Granted it may feel like you are stagnant at times because you stepped on that line and had to start over, but you are only refining your balance and skill when you jump back and forth, adding an additional step along the way. What if you only threw the stone to the number 5, over and over and over again? You will play the same game plan and never go anywhere.
Bottom line: TAKE THE NEXT STEP, INTENSIFY YOUR ACTIVITY, DARE TO BE DIFFERENT FROM THE SAME OLD STUFF THAT YOU DO!!
I am living as an example right now! I am blogging! I have done it here and there, but there is an audience that enjoys reading and relating, so I am taking my stone and throwing it to number 6 and I'm gonna keep on jumping!!! I am stepping out of my comfort zone and daring myself to be different. What will come of it, who knows? But follow me and find out ;-)
Thanks for reading; until the next time, love the life you're leading!
Signed, the leading lady,
Dr. Jai
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