Love and Hip Hop is Tainting my Love FOR Hip Hop!!

 
This is my opinion, of which, I have a right to voice.  I am aware that others may not agree.  Stuff happens....

No, I don't watch "Love and Hip Hop" because I already knew from the initial pilot trailer that I was going to be sickened by the ratchetness that IS that show.  I gave it a few chances and still, no, I just couldn't.  Why? Because it's not HIP HOP!  The artists are rap artists and producers; and yes, it falls into an element of Hip Hop Culture, but what the CULTURE was created for was not THAT!

A 40 year culture, that started with activism, freedom and movements to stop violence in our neighborhoods, now contributes to the ratchetness that is in our neighborhoods.  Yes, one can say that people make their own choices and they can and do, but choices are still influenced.  Where I will not say that the image of RAP is not responsible for what is going on in our communities, it is a contributor, glorifying human acts that contradict the creation of the culture!!

Sure, people watch the, cool, again another choice, but what is not a choice is what appears in my newsfeed and tweets that is putting Mimi and her film boo out there, even more than they have.  So I see still shots and links that say, "Here's the trailer for the sex tape" and "WorldStar Hip Hop has it!"  I am clicking 'hide' and another one pops up.   NO, I won't watch it- not my thing. No shade to those who post it, it's your choice, but I refuse to entertain it. 

What I did entertain was the trailer for the season opener, as I always do. I said I would 'try' to give it a chance and it fails EVERY time.  So you see Mimi all happy about making the tape and then they find out that it has 'leaked' (yeah right).  She is all 'devastated' and then thinks about the fact that she has a daughter.  As a mother I can understand as you want to be the best example for your children.  What I did not understand is that they were told it could make them a lot of money (I hope that wasn't really said and was cut for 'affect' - doubt it though) and LO AND BEHOLD, the trailer surfaces.  So much for the emotions about your example for your daughter, Mimi (out of the window).

One can say, "Well Dr. Jai, let's not forget that Big Daddy Kane posed for PlayGirl!"  You are right, he did and the HIP HOP CULTURE fired back at him like, "Dude, what were you thinking?!?!?"  He tainted his rep for a bit, but it was over and NOT under the name of "HIP HOP".  He did not do it for "HIP HOP".  It was his own decision.  Yes, songs like "Put it in Your Mouth", "Buddy" and "Sally" told the story of sex; there are several songs that have, but over time, we have seen the lines blurred in rap videos and lyrics and now platforms on tv (Love and Hip Hop) and the internet (WorldStar Hip Hop) have now contributed to, not only glorifying the porn industry, but glorifying it IN THE NAME OF HIP HOP!!  It's tatted all in the brand!!  

So, what is a woman who loves the hip hop culture to do? In January,  I created "Graffiti Alley Radio" as a means to bring positivity back to Hip Hop culture, highlighting its origins!  We highlight the positive stories of then and now, that have contributed to making the culture a global phenomenon. We highlight people who grew up in the Hip Hop Culture who have become positive contributors in the community, many in the name of TRUE HIP HOP! It has grown from 4 to 9 elements; that's pretty dope!  Sorely, thanks to this situation, I guess PORN will be a new element (*sarcastically stated* I hope not, but at this rate.... I just don't know *side eye*).  All I can say is that I am royally PISSED! Surely, this isn't dopeness; it's straight stupidity!  

I will hold on to the bit of hope that Hip Hop still has.  This situation has created a sour taste in my mouth, which has grown from the bitter taste I had about how women are portrayed in the culture; however, I still love, what I now have to call, AUTHENTIC HIP HOP!  I'm a die-hard, hip hop head! I will leave ratchet rap for ratchet folks.

It's Hip. It's Hip Hop. It's Hope!  I have to hold on to what 'hope' is left in, what is now, the culture's influence.

Dr. Jai,
The Dopest Doctor
www.drjanicearmstrong.com

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: LESSONS

This morning had to have been one of the craziest mornings I have had in a long time.  As I was dressing my daughter, I told my son about 4 or 5 times to go and get his tennis shoes for me.  He would leave the room and come back with nothing.  I would tell him exactly where they were as he was always good at following instructions ANY OTHER TIME.  He still returned empty-handed.  I said, "Fine, I will take you downstairs, put you in the car and get your shoes then." He sat and continued to play. Really, how much more explaining was I going to do with a soon-to-be 3 year old... not much more, trust.

So I went out to the garage, put the kids in the car, grabbed the MANY bags that had to go with me and ventured to work. I get to their school, which is at the same location as my job, park the car and I look back at the boy.  With a previous habit of removing his shoes during car rides to say, "Jayson, put on your shoes!"  He gave me a blank stare; I thought he was having his usual "I'm two and I'm independent" situations.  I was about to raise my voice and ask him again sternly, until I remembered.... OH SHOOT! I never put them on him!!  He said innocently, "They are home, Mommy!" *self-forehead slap*  I live 29 miles from work, mind you.

I called the school to see if they had spares from donations.  They said they didn't know if they had his size; they may be too small. I couldn't run that risk.  With recess outside and his running about, it could hurt is feet. So I took off, back home, 29 miles later.... got his shoes, fed both kids (because breakfast would be over by the time we returned to school) and made the 29 mile trek back!!!  *sigh*

Usually, I am more than prepared when things occur with my children.  I have extra clothes, wipes, diapers, snacks, whatever, just in case we get stuck in a rut at some point.  Shoes were never on that list, unles the kids were just a few months old and I kept soft shoes available in the diaper bag.  So what does all of this mean?? LESSON LEARNED!!  

I couldn't be mad at anyone but myself in this situation.  I was only frustrated with the ride back and forth, but I would do it again if for my kids or my husband.  Might give a *side eye* to do that for someone else, but I'd do it... reluctantly, with a few reminders that I did it over the next month, but I digress.  Just kidding, a little.  Anyway, the point is that I will make sure I am better prepared.  

You can't do everything for every scenario that may go on in your life, but just be open-minded to abrupt changes that can affect your flow.  Life happens.  We face challenges and are really angered by our current situations; however, they don't have to remain as future situations.  Make changes to the circumstances, analyze your lesson(s) learned and move on.  There is a reason for everything and learning lessons is one of them!

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: LIMITS

Yes, you can be your best!!  Yes, you can reach your goals!  Yes, you will have to make sacrifices and make changes to get to where you desire to be!  Yada yada yada.  Yes, as a coach, trainer, and speaker, I have said it all and motivated folks with these words.  Understandably so, because it is all true!! But at the same time, where one may explain how 'simple' becoming your best may be, it can be difficult.  It is our duty as motivational speakers, coaches and trainers to let our audiences know that in the pursuit for greatness, there WILL be challenges.  Everything isn't all rosy when you are trying to make it.  Having that warning can be the difference between struggling with or accepting failure.  We say, "You have got to WORK HARD!", but we say it so easily as if the word 'hard' doesn't stand up to its meaning.  Sometimes you just have to fight: fight through the challenge, fight through the stress, fight through the pain...there are NO LIMITS to what you can do, right?!?!  YOU'RE A NO LIMIT, SOLDIER... I THOUGHT I TOLD YA!!  ("Make 'em say: Uhhh, nah-nah nah-nah!" - two different songs, I know - Listen to Master P and No Limit Soldiers Here)

The above statement is definitely correct.  There are NO limits, but here comes another word of advice while you are 'fighting' and getting beat the heck up: you have to KNOW LIMITS!! People say, you can touch the sky, yet you are only driving a car toward your dream destination, when you really need a plane or a rocket ship!  We have the tools to discover our purpose and when we do, we will naturally fit, but as we seek, we must be mindful of our physical, mental and even spiritual limitations.  We have to discover what we can handle and what is beyond us!!  

Some say there are NO LIMITS to what you can do, but even those who have built companies, initially on their own, discovered that as things progressed, they met their limitations and delegated duties to someone else.  You are no good to yourself nor your goals if you are stressed out, tired and beat up from believing that you have no limits!  Regroup and refocus so that you, again, KNOW LIMITS!

You CAN get there!  You CAN be who you want to be!  Just know "that great success may come with a confusing process" (Dr. Jai)!  Be content in feeling a bit of pain and a bit of struggle, but when it totally deters you from where you desire to be, re-engage and KNOW YOUR LIMITS!!

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HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: INTEGRITY

Integrity is so important when you are working to achieve your goals.  In hindsight, do you accept the decisions that you have made?  Are you content with your path toward greatness and are you getting there through hard work or climbing and stomping on the backs of others?  I love seeing people succeed, but I have a problem when they do it underhandedly, especially my students.  

I'd be hypocritical to say that I have always been 'by the book' while I was a student in school.  I found my shortcuts to getting things done and my grade reflected it and not in a good way either.  The outcome reflected my half-steppin'.  But one thing I desire not to do is put someone in a situation in which I have chosen to be in, meaning, I am do bad by myself.  I can think of one time I put my friends in a compromising situation and I still hear about it... 15 years later!  To know that I affected them in a way that was lasting didn't make me feel very good.  

Integrity is such a big part of growth.  It is learned.  It is shown.  It is witnessed.  I desire all three, exercising integrity in all situations, especially as an adult and, even more so, as a parent.  So what is my point?  Don't expect me to exercise a lack of integrity, especially as a professor.  I have told my students SO many times that I do not 'give' grades!  They EARN them.  I remember one I received an email and the student was asking about a 'C' grade earned.  I explained the grade and how the student received it.  The student stated that this grade could prevent them from going to nursing school and that they wanted it changed to a 'B'.  I told the student to call me.  When the student called, I said that I couldn't change a grade that was earned.  This student pushed and asked and almost begged for this grade change and I told the student, very calmly, "Sorry, but I can't live with such dishonesty. Can you?" The student said, "Huh?"  I replied, "If you really want the 'B', please contact my director and let her know what you desire."  *silence*  I continued to state, "You have plenty of time to do better in your other classes to help your GPA." *silence*  Then the students said, "Okay, thank you" and we said our 'goodbyes'.  

I thought that the situation would infuriate me.  It definitely surprised me, but what made me mad is what situation occurred previously that gave this student the nerve to ask for a better grade? Has this been done before and if so, what professor would do that?  So, they have tainted their own integrity and the student witnessed it and, apparently, thought this was okay.  Again, this is speculation. Maybe this was the first time and they thought they would take a shot at it.  Well, the student got SHOT DOWN! You will appreciate your journey to success when you travel the road of integrity.

REMEMBER: WHEN YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL, AIN'T NO HALF STEPPIN'! INTEGRITY IS LEARNED; GRADES ARE EARNED!

Check out BDK 'Ain't No Half-Steppin'' here

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: DETERMINED

 Author: Dr. Jai, the Leading Lady: www.lihkleaders.com

Charles Darwin, the father of 'Evolutionary Theory' suggested that humans have thrived on this Earth because their digits, mental capacity and upright statures have allowed them navigate the environment and figure out how to live.  His mantra, "Survival of the Fittest" is used in psychology and sociology as the basis for continued  research on human development and extinction of species.

Well, now that all sounds great and 'scholarly', but for real, we just have to do what we gotta do to survive in this crazy thing called life.  Mobb Deep said, "we livin' this 'til the day that we die; survival of the fit, only the strong survive!" (Mobb Deep, "Survival of the Fittest" Song) Strength, which fuels determination, has helped us survive.  Those survival instincts that kick in when we are faced with danger include adrenaline so high that we are shocked by the strength we truly possess.

As we celebrate the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington, we are reminded of the strength of people who fought for their civil rights.  The determination of African-Americans and people of other cultures and ethnicities who support the fight and wanted their voices heard.  The strength of a man, who died at the age of a VERY young 39 years old, that provided a voice for millions!!  But we can't help to think even further back to the determination of a woman, tired from a hard days work, who refused to move to the rear of the bus.

 
We have to continue to think about the strength of those teens in NC who sat right at the Woolworth's counter because it was their right.  The African-Americans who gladly took their 40 acres and their mule to create a life for their newly freed families.  The selfless woman who made tracks on a very long path, many times, to free others!  And, need I say it, the man who shed his blood and gave his life, setting an example of what "Survival of the Fittest" truly means, helping his followers understand eternal life and love.

It is amazing how strong and determined we are when faced with situations of adversity!! So does this explain why some people aren't as determined in the midst of their own dreams?  We talk about it, but you have to BE about it!!  You don't have to rush toward your goals!  All of these pioneers had visions and strategically thought through how it should be implemented.  You have the power to do the same and it doesn't have to be in the midst of turmoil, chaos, adversity, or challenge!

Confidence builds strength!  Strength fuels determination!!  Determination is standing firm in your purpose!!!  Go for what you desire!!  Even trying takes effort!!  So, be DETERMINED!!

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HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: MOVE!!

 Author: Dr. Jai, the Leading Lady: www.lihkleaders.com

While I am driving into work there are some drivers that I really think fall asleep behind the wheel!!  They sit idol after the light has been green for a minute or they decide to pull in front of you and drive slower than the speed limit because they haven't had their 'pick up' in the morning.  Well, I am wide awake, driving the speed limit, or more, and my pick-me-ups are sitting in the back seat!  So now, you are in my way to get to my destination!  No, I am not rushing!  Most times I am on time or early, but I should not feel the consequences of your lack of motivation!  So, as I am driving, I shout, "Move!!! Geez!"  and my son, taking after his father, shouts, "C'mon Mannnn! 'Outta Wayyy'"  I can't help but chuckle because even a 2.5 year old knows that driver needs to get some pep in that pedal!

Anyway, when I think of someone shouting, "Move!", it is said, mostly, in urgency!  There is a destination to get to or there is a barrier to that destination; therefore, the command has purpose, yet stated sternly for ACTION!  When I think about Ludacris' song, "Move...." and a Baltimore Club Track, "Out My Way...." and how, at parties, folks would respond, moving each other out of the way, in fun, of course, the songs provoked action and a change in position, sometimes forced.  Most times being forced to move is not 'welcomed' or 'preferred'.

Don't wait to move on things you desire to do!  In these economic times, many of us are forced to move out of jobs and positions and it's not comfortable.  Then we are forced to move to other desired levels in our careers and life, quicker than we would have wanted, and it's, initially, not comfortable.  If you want to do something in life, then get started and... MOVE!  Whether baby steps, major steps or huge leaps of faith.... MOVE!!!  If you aren't ready, that's fine; MOVE when you are. If someone is in your way, then tell them to "MOVE... get out the way..." because you have places to go, things to see and people to meet! Don't let the consequences of their lack of motivation affect your actions!  If someone is blocking your progress, say 'Out My Way...' and 'throw them bows' (i.e. elbowing someone out of their current position) because you are trying to move out or up and they are dead-weight.  Get assertive in your demands; get aggressive in your quest!!  You have a destiny!  You won't get there until you MOVE!!!

"A 'dead-weight' in your progress will surely hinder your success" ~ Dr. Jai

Listen to Ludacris' "Move" Here

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"HIP HOP HOPE" WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: ATTENTION (Kendrick Lamar Commentary)

Author: Dr. Jai, the Leading Lady: www.lihkleaders.com

OH MAN!!! Kendrick Lamar has stirred up the pot now!!  And you know what? He has ALL OF OUR ATTENTION!!  The thing is, NOTHING that he has done or said is anything new!  Kool Moe Dee started calling people out long ago and many other rappers have followed suit.  The rap game has a voice and with that voice, folks speak truth.  What is funny is that a lot of people are MAD now because of his one line:

"I'm Makaveli's offspring, I'm the king of New York

King of the Coast, one hand, I juggle them both"

Okay, some are mad for more than that but tweets have been off the hook because of his 'claim'. What is even funnier is that he got their attention, got them mad and for what?!?!  From my research of hip hop history and reading the lyrics to his part in Big Sean's "Control", I would venture to interpret the line above as the following:

Kendrick, in my opinion, is saying that he is like TuPac Shakur.  A rap artist that rapped and dominated BOTH coasts (juggle them both)!!  From what I gather, Kendrick is not saying that HE is the king of New York, specifically, but if you research you will find that TuPac's initial rap pen name was "MC New York".  As a lyrical 'offspring', Kendrick is crowning himself king of both coasts!!  In my mind, it is not a diss against anyone who had or has dominated the NY scene.  

Now let's skip forward to calling folks out.  Shoot, it's needed!! I won't agree with all called out, but he has his reasons... if anything to get that attention and wake folks up.  How is that different from giving donations and doing a challenge to other organizations to match what you have given?  He is laying the cards on the table, waiting for the pick up!  

When did the same lyrical mouthpiece that gave our people a voice and a sound get wrapped around a bottle top?  When did that SAME mouthpiece become more important wrapped around a roach?  When did the SAME mouthpiece start to demean and degrade women?  Well, when society changed and THAT was what people wanted to hear or talk about.  Is it wrong?  No, it's storytelling and marketing at its finest.   However, when that is ALL your brand has become or has grown from, then you have deviated or separated from REAL HIP HOP.  This 'marketing' has expanded the business, but tainted the message. It's 'bubble gum' and folks are getting chewed up and chewed out by a man that wants to bring REAL HIP HOP back.  Does the 'coast' really matter?  Surely it didn't as one of rap's icons succeeded on both, East and West, and a newbie to the mainstream is just trying to fill the gap that has been empty for a minute.

"I'm dressed in all black, this is not for the fan of Elvis

I'm aimin' straight for your pelvis, you can't stomach me."

He got our attention; he's mourning Hip Hop.  He's fighting for it!  He has stirred up the pot and everyone is ready to eat now, except for the wrong reason because they are mad!! Now rappers have something to prove, right?  It took getting the ATTENTION to make them move!  Well, I'm not mad at it at all.  Thank you Kendrick Lamar.

So how will YOU get the ATTENTION of those interested in what you may have to say?  Are you chillin' in the corner observing silently or yelling to the hills that something is needed and something has to change and you are the person to do it?  Stir up the pot then!  You may be a jack of all trades, but be an EXPERT in one!!  Get that ATTENTION that you desire.  WHAT YOU HAVE LOVE FOR, YOU WILL FIGHT FOR!  That's what Kendrick Lamar is doing... just loving Hip Hop.

www.lihkleaders.com

H.I.P. H.O.P: Having the Inner Power to Hone Our Purpose ~ Dr. Jai 

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