HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: FORGIVENESS

Did someone do you wrong and you haven't forgiven them?  Have YOU done something to someone and haven't forgiven yourself? Have you stopped pursuing something you desired to do and you haven't forgiven yourself?  Well, don't you think it is time to do so? Whether the situation occurred recently or long ago, the process of forgiveness may take time, but you have to FIRST decide that you want to forgive.  It takes more energy to hold on to that toxic past; re-energize and detox yourself of that situation!  Some say, "I will forgive, but I won't forget!"  Well, you are still harboring the negativity that is associated with the circumstance, and frankly, that is a way for you to validate your emotions.  FYI: It's not solving the issue.

Forgiving others can take time, but forgiving yourself can happen instantaneously!  As you are doing that, make forgiving the other person a part of the process and forgiving yourself for not forgiving them is necessary too (Did you get that?!?!)!  Anyway, you'll be and feel better for it.  

I remember I had a cool friendship with a person and it fell apart because I felt betrayed by something that occurred and I felt that the person did me wrong.  We didn't talk for years, not on purpose, just based on circumstances of growing in different directions. One day, I got a facebook message, "Hey Janice, how are you?"  Of course my heart raced; I was like, "Really, dude?", while raising an eyebrown.  Then I immediately thought about the feeling I was having, instead of the circumstance that was presented.  So I said, "Hey, wassup?  How are you?"  We proceeded to chat and he shared some things with me that he had encountered over the years and the blessings that he had received from the Lord in reference to life, love and happiness.  The conversation ended in his apology to me and I couldn't be mad because we both made dumb mistakes in our younger years.  The situation seemed relatively minute afterwhile and I felt that I had to apologize because of the initial resentment I felt when I received that message.  The entire situation had to be forgiven.  We are really cool again and I am proud of his progress as a person!  :-)


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HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: PERSEVERANCE

Do you have the energy to 'make it'?  Do you have the power and motivation to see things through?  Do you continue with situations because you KNOW they are worth the fight?  Sometimes you just HAVE to make it!  You have to substitute the fear and flight with the hard sneer of the fight!  Own it; be it; TAKE CHARGE.

I like to watch horror movies.  In many cases you see that the 'good guy' wins, but in movies like "Friday the 13th", "Nightmare on Elm Street", and "Saw", you were always left with the thought that the 'bad guy' may return.  As the 'good guy' is fighting his or her way to survive, beating the 'poo poo' out of the adversary, that adversary keeps getting back up, which makes the 'hero' have to fight harder in order to be the ultimate survivor!!

We face CRAZY challenges many times in our lives and we wonder when drastic situations will end!  We put in a good fight, but that problem continues to rise and presents itself again and again, making a mockery of our efforts.  It takes PERSEVERANCE to truly fight the hardships that plague us.  It takes determination to get us through those times and it takes being honest with ourselves when the fight that we attempted was enough and we need to try harder.  We need to find that 'weak' spot in our situation and destroy it, so that WE are the winners!!  Keep fighting; keep pushing; keep desiring to overcome and win!!  The opponent will be taken down soon enough.  PERSEVERE!!!

_________________________

Dr. Jai, the leading lady is a leadership and life coach and desires to help college students succeed in their collegiate careers and beyond.  Check her site at www.lihkleaders.com or register to receive motivational information at register.lihkleaders.com.

"From the Street to the Executive Suite: Remixing Street Smarts and Life Lessons into Leadership Success" is available on Amazon.com, Lulu.com, and www.lihkleaders.com (autographed copy).

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: TRUST

What is your trust level? For me, I trust anyone until they prove that they can't be trusted. I use the 'innocent until proven guilty' approach. Some folks do not trust anyone, which is fine for the individual, but may ruin relationships with those with whom they encounter. Surely, I can understand that gaining trust can be huge for some people, so taking those baby steps to establish rapport first is helpful. It is one of the first rules in #leadership. As you desire to lead a better life for yourself, try to offer some emotional flexibility to others; it shows normalcy, which can help your rapport! Just be true (normal/genuine); tell and honor the truth (rapport/harmony) and establish trust. You will thank yourself for it! ~ Dr. Jai

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: FUN

Dear LiHK Leaders,

As we get older, at least in my experiences, 'fun' falls to the wayside a bit.  Other priorities arise and the notion of 'fun' isn't AS important.  One may have the opportunity to 'enjoy' something: like a glass of wine; a good movie; a nice dinner... but FUN takes more ACTION!  You have to MAKE things FUN.  It seems, to me, that there is a greater physical and emotional appreciation for what FUN is when it happens.  We increase those endorphins and enhance that dopamine when we have FUN!!!  REMEMBER 'dopamine', by thinking, "Dope is Mine"... get high on LIFE and have FUN!!  (No, not 'dope' literally!! Just a little psych lesson that I use for my students to help them remember important brain neurotransmitters (gossip between nerves)).

Anyway, here is the story behind this:  My son, Jayson, was sitting in the back seat of my truck this morning.  He had his earphones on watching Mickey Mouse clubhouse, cheerios in his lap, and his sunglasses on upside down!  I tell him all of the time that they are on wrong, but he keeps them that way.  Today, at a stop light, I asked him to give me the glasses and I placed them in his hand the right way, encouraging him to, as I tell him, "put the nose in the nose hole!"  He put them on, upside down again.  I said, "Jayson, why you want them on like that?"  He simply said, "It's FUN, Mommy!"  We can learn a lot from kids; they remind us what having PURE fun is like!  Forget about how you look and what people think of you.  When YOU are smiling and laughing and enjoy a GOOD TIME for yourself; others opinions really don't matter.  Love life and have FUN!  It's almost summer time; the season of FUN!!  Embrace it!

Dr. Jai   

(www.lihkleaders.com and http://about.me/drjanicearmstrong )

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: THRIVE

To thrive is to become 'strong' and to 'flourish'!!  We feel joy when we overcome the challenges that may be presented as we move toward our ultimate goals!!  When we continue to pursue our dreams, goals and aspirations, it makes sense to actually expect the unexpected!  If it doesn't happen, great!  You move forward with ease; however, when challenges do arise, you can approach them with the expectation that THEY WON'T LAST!!  You have to have the drive to thrive!!  

Think about a flower in the Spring:  it buds; it flourishes; and continues to grow.  Despite the rain, the storms, the challenges of the elements, the bug infestations, etc, the flower has a game plan... it grows new leaves and pedals.  It moves itself toward the sun and stretches to gain as much nourishment and power so that it can continue to flourish.  Some flowers can produce other buds so when the main flower is 'taken down', the 'legacy' flowers still remain!  Flowers grow in a deep foundation; they are well-rooted!  Their strength to 'live' allows them the flourish and so THEY THRIVE!!

There are many stories I can tell about my desire to thrive.  I have lived a challenged life that, in retrospect, I created for myself!!  Were there motives? Yes, but the ability for those motives to take control of my life was MY doing!  The consequences were felt tremendously and when I desired not to feel the 'pimp slap' of a trying life any longer; I yelled at it and made MY choice to thrive!!!

Do you have a game plan?  When life presents the 'preview' of its challenges, are you setting things up so that you can handle its 'debut'? To whom will you stretch toward to gain YOUR power!?!? Tell yourself that you are on this Earth for a unique purpose; tell yourself that you want to LIVE out that purpose.  Put it out there...into the universe and say, "Help me GET TO my purpose!"  Pray, plan, implement, move, live, flourish, and THRIVE! 

~ Dr. Jai, the leading lady  (www.lihkleaders.com)
"Discover what you LiHK; Become who you Love!"

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: HUMILITY

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD- HUMILITY

So, you 'DA BOSS', huh? So you brush your shoulders off and the haters fall to your feet, huh? So, I sound like 'Juvenile', huh? Really? Maybe they hate because you haven't even taken the time to share just a smidgen of life's lessons learned. While you are out being a Paper Chaser, help at least one other person run the race too! People thrive for information; how much have you shared today or even this week?

When you can step outside of the titles, the fame, the glory, and the admiration attached to you, you are able to recognize that it was the dirty, the grind, and the grit that made you who you are. Just be certain to remain humble because in THIS economy, ANYTHING can happen and things can change so fast. You never know if the person you may look down your nose to, may be the very person that you need to help you get up when you have fallen. You can never forget 'humble beginnings' if you continue to be humble in your lifetime!

THE STORY:

I was walking through the hall today and a colleague stopped to speak to me and said 'Hey Dr. Armmmstronggg'!  I turned around and said, "Hi! But you don't have to call me that!"  He said, "I don't have to, but I want to!"  I said, "Okay, you can call me doctor or whatever you want!"  He smiled.  Before I departed he said, "I really can't believe it!  You are a doctor and you still don't want anyone to call you that?!?!"  I said, "They can call me, "Doctor", but it doesn't seem right outside of a professional setting. Yeah, we are at work, but we aren't in meetings or anything.  Plus, most people have known me before the degree, so just call me 'Janice'.  He said, "Okay, whatever you say, Doc! You are just being yourself I see..."... he chuckled and we departed.

I have found that others are more proud of me than I am of myself.  I have achieved my goal and I earned the title, but I have been 'Janice' since I was born and it is 'Janice' who loves to help people.  It is 'Janice' who desires to change lives.  It has ALWAYS been 'Janice' to love 'people'.  It is 'Dr. Jai' that allows the opportunity to be able to reach more people to help, to change and to love!

"Discover what you LiHK (like); Become who you love" (... and desire to love someone else too!  :-) )

[Feel free to visit my website at www.lihkleaders.com; click the 'book' tab for more information about "From the Street to the Executive Suite: Remixing Street Smarts and Life Lessons into Leadership Success"]

HUMP DAY HOPE WITH WEDNESDAY'S WORD: SACRIFICE

Dear LiHK Leaders,

In order to get to a certain level of satisfaction in our lives, we are faced with sacrificing certain things.  Our relationships, our health, our lives are tested when sacrificial situations are introduced.  Sometimes sacrifice is seen as a negative component; however, the action and the outcomes are cherished after the fact because you see the result of those sacrifices.  Our relationships, health and lives will sustain if we make smarter decisions. 

Sacrifice comes from two Latin words: "sacrum" and "facio".  It literally means, "to make sacred". There is nothing wrong with making sacrifices for the life you desire for you and your family.  When you are willing to make sacrifices, that means that you truly care about those for whom you are making them for!  YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, YOUR HEALTH, AND YOUR LIFE ARE "SACRIFICE"!! 

HERE'S A STORY: With the support of my husband, I decided to pursue my doctorate degree.  We had no idea what it would entail, but we were ready to sacrifice our time for it.  Mind you, we had date nights and were very spontaneous with outings and gatherings.  When school work became intense, Jay would tell me to put work to the side and get away from it.  It was SO hard to do because I felt I needed to stick it out, but I sacrificed my own feelings and went along with his advice, which was the best advice I could have taken.  At that point I made the decision not to do school work on the weekends and it helped me mentally and socially, as date nights returned.

In 2010, in the midst of the first year of my program, we found out we were pregnant.  We weren't planning to have children until the program was over (3 years later); however, God gave us a blessing.  I was a little panicked because I was faced with the decision to stop the program or keep going, not knowing how I would get through. I was willing to sacrifice the pursuit of my degree to raise our family. Jay told me that I could handle it.  He always saw more in me than I saw within myself.  I sacrificed time again to get work done sooner, so once the baby was born, we could focus on family.  Honestly, the initial change from date nights all of the time actually prepared us for the time change we would experience with a little one added to our family.  Time well spent, however.

Jay made the decision to sacrifice his time as a photographer to dedicate to our family as well.  He didn't really book gigs for almost an entire year.  I could see that he 'lost' something.  I supported him to get back into the swing of things and you could see the change in him to return 1) to what he loved to do and 2) to be able to support our family doing it.  He sacrificed his love in his craft for his love for us.  Some would say, "Isn't that obvious?", but you still don't want to 'lose yourself' in general.

Then in the beginning of 2012, as I am approaching the end of my program, we are blessed with child number two!!  Again, we found ourselves pinching our time to ensure that I could knock out school work and graduate earlier in order to enjoy both of our little angels.  It had it's rough spots, let me tell you, but nothing that would complicate our lives or our relationship.  Today, I am finished school and working to build my business; Jay is continuing with photography with an added focus in fashion shoots.  Both are VERY time consuming, but we make it all work and we make these sacrifices, not only for each other, but for the love of our family!!  We MAKE time for each other; we MAKE time for our kids! We can't get to everybody's events, but they know that we love them :-)  There is just new foci in our lives and we wouldn't change it for the world.  Our love and family is the result of Jesus' Sacrifice.  We look forward to what God has for us via our sacrifices as well!

SACRIFICE CAN BE A GOOD THING; JUST MAKE GOOD DECISIONS!  

Signed, the Leading Lady, 
Dr. Jai 

"From the Street to the Executive Suite: Remixing Street Smarts and Life Lessons into Leadership Success" is available at www.lihkleaders.com, amazon.com, lulu.com, barnesandnoble.com, itunes.com (Ibookstore) 
Dr. Jai, The Leading Lady, website: LiHK Leaders